2man10

Pets Lover

2012-01-29T09:02:00.001-08:00

They shared some similarity with us, but they are not the same kind.

Many were to treat the little one as their own child. Mostly for those who have no children, or little one for a couple to take care with. Some says it was the start of the training before having a real child, but so true somehow they will be an orphan after the breakup.

It started with a kitten in my house where my mum never to allow us to have one my childhood.

Most of the time, Bubble (cat's name) is very naughty, sneak under the table and try to scratch your leg whenever you walk pass him. It wasn't a real scratching with the claws, just paw, or perhaps to touch. They just like to grab anything that is moving, like guy's eyeball catching on girls passingby, from 7 even to 70s.

There is one time while I am cleaning the dishes, he walked toward my leg and lean the body a bit and go away.... Things happened in silent mode, as none of us is making any sound during this scene.

Well, sometimes, perhaps we just need someone to hug with saying nothing and doing nothing extra. That act is more than enough to ease the partner, especially when there is a little doubt for the day.

A hug from the back when you reach home after a tiring day, always is a plus compares to reach home and there is someone moaning about almost every little thing that you are not prepared yourself to accept it at that moment, it just another burden for the emotion level.

Beside the silent mode from the pets, they are actually a good listener. They will never spread or leak your secret, their loyalty level are very high indeed, as they would never turn their back towards you, or cheating on you. All they need is just meals and cares. That sounds like a basic needs like human does. Putting aside the extra requirement from your partner, you can meet their requirement easily and in return the enjoyment for fulfilling.

Smiley faces

2012-01-16T11:20:00.001-08:00

The one that makes and encourage others to squeeze the lip upwards for a smiley face... Somehow in the middle
Of the night, can't smile yet not crying.

It just lack of something to fall asleep comfortably. It is odd and weird for the eye and finger is still moving by now, as should be in the dream land instead.

Not to ask why, but think how? Now I just don't have any clue for that. HOW?

Can't even know where to start the question for the why and how.

The only think I know it will be a panda tomorrow morning.

整理

2011-12-18T09:24:00.001-08:00

今天看了一场有份参与却又有点事不关己的戏。。。别人的婚宴。近来一连几场的事不关己，到了今天，实在是有点累了，思绪有点乱了。

还真的如星座书上写的，想得通，看不开。。。明明很理智地明白知道自己应该要做什么，但是理性却不知道在倔强地坚持什么。。。有时候刻意的整理但却不经意地忽略掉需要被整理的心情，明明可以终结一些，但却不经意的搅合，理还乱。

自己也不知道的事，不知道错在哪里是因为以为那是对的。但'我以为'却可以铸成大错。不想再次在漩涡里找寻出口，虽然已知道那出口在底部的尽头，也在漩涡之外，置身之外。本是放过伤害别人的意，但却又是伤害自己的源头。

说是整理，其实是不想去理，说是不理，但又却不能不理。

两年的时间，原来不经意就溜走了。

两年的努力，到今天才发现，有些东西可以一击就夸，一蹦就溃。（夸了）但其努力是环绕着灾害地区却避开了台风眼。非但没有对症下药，还拒绝就医。

想日出时让一切终结，但我好像喜欢了雨天。

没有不下雨的晴天，也没有不放晴的的雨天。

~ 隶书书法课 ~

2011-12-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

最近上了两堂的书法课，速成班，然而“成绩”如何？

有待磨练，但是至少一颗向往写子的心还是“成就”了。

一反往常的书写方式，没有绝对的对与错，还可以参插一些自己的创意。。。

好像还蛮刚我，写的不美，也希望创意地丑的很美 >.<

老师说：“先修身，再写字” 果然定下心，看着笔尖写的，就是会比没有专注地写的有差。

不必特地去跟其他人比，自己就很快发现了。

先培养好的习惯，兴趣。。。事情就好像容易多了。

【没有不二法门，只有天天敲门】

Apple of my mind

2011-11-30T09:08:00.001-08:00

Reading this and somewhere until it touches the diary that classmate leaving some thoughts on it... Somehow I am wondering where is mine...

After moving house for few times... I am kinda lost many things during the process... I can even recall do I have one. It will be waste of time to find something that I don't have it at the first place.

~ time that i think of you ~

2011-11-30T08:41:00.000-08:00

by the time i think of you right now

will you think of me?

or it was another 10 hours later

as it only reaches you while you were asleep

or it just another dream of yours...

that you will not remember after wake up.

does the time zone has been the curse of us?

or we only felt into the same zone of love...

that has ignore the rules of time...

or the time will tell as the love fall?

love can crossed all boundaries,

so as thoughts.

anything that you can imaging of....

沉默的答案........

2011-10-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

写了白多篇，很多时候的沉默没有带上来，文字显示不出来，只能够默默的，静静的，无语的，沉静的消失了。

有时候无言以对的沉默，也许不是所有问题的答案，可也不是每个问题都有一定的答案，但是沉默，它确实是答案的一种。

当面对太大的问题，而太少形容词可以用的时候，也许沉默就是最恰当的答案。

虽然说因缘果报，事出必有因；虽然也没有菩萨的知果而不造因，但是，有些事情。。。还是可以预知结果。虽然很多人说，“没试过，不知道” 却也不是每一件事都要试试才知道结果。固执地试，盲目行事。。。却也必然因果如何，可想而知。

可能现时的沉默招来了反击，可若干年后。。。可能你会笑着说，当时的沉默，原来是一个最好的答案。

Closet

2011-10-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

Just manage to clear off the laundry from my bed which has occupied half of the space, but somehow there is a feeling of another half is accompany me for the past few days.

I didn't have much choices on my outfits, and I still kept my old company's shirt well. Although it was ten years ago, the fabric still nice though the color has faded... I didn't buy a lot like some others did, per month or per year basis.

The main criteria that's come into selection is the comfort and it's quality. I just found out the so called branded shirt has the higher price tag but it was just less than 10 times of wearing it, the color starts to fade, yet need to iron for maintaining it (hate>.<). In contrast with some tees in a more compatible price yet the quality has surplus the branded one. One of the reason i like the sweater type of cloth, as you don't need to do the ironing at all. :)

Somehow, i know i should buy those stocking in bulk, but i just like the different pattern that they come out with.... sigh.... brain vs action.... cause for a lazy guy, i don't need to spend time to search for its matching. Although some of my stocking has lost their other half... they live alone among their type inside my closet, which is sad, loose the other half and its functionality as well at the same time.

they born in the same pattern with multi-color, they born in millions in quantity yet they were destined to pair up with the other half.

CPR

2011-09-28T13:54:00.001-07:00

430 in the morning, awake from a dream. Where I was giving CPR to my dad by pumping on his heart and bringing his pulse back. He still able to hold my hand and look at me again.

In reality, I didn't do anything other than just let him go. Watching him leaves us at his very last moment, the last breathe that he take and no further action after that.

It was a harsh moment for us and it could be a release for him which he has fought bravely with the decease for the past ten years.

Nurse has told us to let go and there is nothing else that we can do about it. But the dream just now somehow was so real that I actually pump his chest and even I know there is no more pulse in him... But I was able to bring him back from death.

That's the only place that I've let my dream became alive.... In a dream itself. Somehow it tells me not to give up easily... Give it another try before it was in your regret list.

Limited box

2011-09-23T09:16:00.001-07:00

It has been 2 years after moving into the apartment that i am staying now, lots of things still stay the same like the first day. Some old wiring that has caused fire for the second time in a year. (scary)

The common reason for these are lazy and busy. Busy on working and lazy on working on my own things. I don't know whether it was common for most of the people.

It was the combination of workspace and sleeping place. Would like to call that as an office rather than home though I do sleep over here.

Today it was kind of refreshed as I moved around the furniture inside the room where there was an idea of putting something in and throwing something out. New LCD and old lazy chair where it was a place for my unfolded cloths. (I thought I could sit and read in it, it just happened once and that only last 15 minutes)

Somehow a little change among the limited space has rejenuvated the mind. Not quite a new life, but you have to refresh it, keep it warm as life is short.

No matter life or love, it is not how to start one, but how well to maintain it. I have failed it once and yet to find the courage for the second one. It was not reheat for my case, but instead it was overheated. Hmmm...

So often there are many things that you can't just change it with a new one as you like, or just buy a new one as replacement. We just have to stick to the one and try to live the best out of it.

Your body, sometimes the loved one. Once broken considered sold, where you might not able to get the replacement part for that. The only way is to maintain it's performance and reheat the relationship as it was like how was it the first day when you fall in love, and still love each other after going through so many over the years.

Learned a lot when changing partner, moving house... You have to learn to adapt to the new environment, not just to stay alive, it could just makes you stays longer. It just like a lesson that you won't learn it over the school.

You cannot keep changing it all the times, as there will be a chance and time for you to settle down. Not to change the selection, but change the way towards the selection.

Not to end the dull with an end, but end the dull with rejenuvation.

Out of the CITY

2011-09-21T04:43:00.001-07:00

Last week went for an outskirt trip at Sukau, Kinabatangan... Just 2 weeks after the trip of the peak.

Most of my friends said that I am not working much this year, just went to vacation only, no matter short or long. Well, somehow I just banish myself over these year without working hard.

I should work harder and earn more and travel further :-)

Another question raised from my friends, travel alone nice meh?
Sometimes it is nice to travel alone whereby if you know your friends well, that hardly they can make it on the specific date. i.e. Working days.

Many of them have save up a lots of yearly leave as they didn't took it and end up as a wasted day it is.

I really looking forward for the days that you work as the time you like. (never wish that i don't even need to work)

It just a time to recharge yourself on a vacation, and obviously I do enjoy these kind of vacation rather than going into other city for shopping. (haven't found to enjoy myself in buying)

Calm the mind, close to the nature yet a quite modern living environment that can fits the modern people's lifestyle nowadays.

Life is simply happier starting by ask for less, yet there are still plenty of things that you can offer.

Does not stay the same

2011-09-19T03:13:00.001-07:00

A Sunday's sunset vs Monday's sunset. One on top of a mountain whereby another one on top of a building. One without raining and another one is raining... Now...

Just like the emo level of yesterday and today. Simply it was something unknown bothering me and just don't know how to describe it as don't know where to start the telling as well.

Impermanence as everyday is a new day. Nothing stays the same way as it is yesterday.

There will be no sunny days that will not rain. And it will be no rainy day that will not shine.

Just need to do what should be done within this period of time and try not to let the weather affect your emotion that much.

It is raining heavily outside, yet there are wave inside the heart. It just couldn't stay calm and the mind just spinning without any result at the end.

Yet it is very clear that I still have a lot of tasks on the list to be working on. One at a time, let it flow... Nothing is better than following the tide of the wave. It is not a best time to fight with it now, unless equip yourself well enough to fight for it.

Somehow the importancy of work has a hiccup but sometimes it is ok to let it be. Hmmm... Let it be too much lately maybe. Antimony really happens frequent when you have a clear mind.... That allows you to have time to think more. Good or bad, you have to judge it when the result came out.

No. 7

2011-09-18T11:46:00.001-07:00

Another number that has come into life. Perhaps it just imagination, somehow would like to link many things together... And they all seems not connected at all.

At first, got to know the cell inside the body will be totally replaced with new one after 7 years. It just a circle of changes within these years... The first thing came to my mind was the itchy 7 years in Chinese saying. As there will be the danger year for couples, as the other half will falls into an affairs.

All I can think of is I could have not being loved by someone as my whole body wasn't the one that it is 7 years ago. It wasn't the real me at the beginning. Unless both have the same direction, mutual understanding and leveling changes, step by step, side by side.

How many 7 years do we have in our life? It could be aging, but I have found out that I did have changes inside me. I somehow lost of the sense of teasing or criticize people, sometimes it was for fun. Somehow I just lost that, a way that will brings laughters, or it will bring haters in the other end.

Speaking the right sentence at the right time is hard. Accept the criticism at the worse time is even harder. Not to speak at all when you can is it even harder? That really leaves a huge question mark.

It was like a sharp knife that will leaves a scar on people's heart, sometimes intended to, just to leave a mark on people's heart. For someone to remember it for life.

Reputation need to build for ages and it can ruin with just with some words at the end. Just like a tree that needs many years to grow but an axe chop it down. TIMBER!!!!

无烟已堆

2011-09-17T08:29:00.001-07:00

再次的重复，熟悉的词句。
竟然从不同的口中出现。
唯一一样的是，在这之前，已经堆积了。
从接受到抗拒，从抗拒到严重拒绝，到如今竟然要再次重受？
是心宽了吗？还是盲目。他早已是灰色地带的佼佼者。
理智已经超越了纯白与黑暗，盲目地蒙上了一层灰。
十万个为什么不能解答的问题。药房没有买的药。强烈漂白剂不能去除的阴影。
曾经以为他人不能接受的自己，不是什么人的接受能力底，而是自己都未能接受自己。总在怀疑，犹豫。
说什么自己可以接受的事，其实是在想一个借口说服自己而已。自欺欺人。
但是，就想要去实行的事，会找理由，不想的事就百般借口。
对付自己，也只能双手放平，撑撑肩膀，告诉自己。。。无言以对。

Wedding Bun

2011-09-12T20:33:00.001-07:00

Normally the dinner were took place as the same day of the sophisticated ceremony. Starting early morning, playing the groom and fetching the bridge game, the tea presentation ceremony, giving ang pao, taking ang pao.... Bla bla bla... Honestly I never think it is such a good idea.

Usually guys will treat these are wasting time and money... Girls think these are the precious moment as it is the moment of the life time. Well, it just the thinking of girl and guys are so different, but doesn't mean it is not a good thing. ( I personally still doesn't fancy this kind of thing )

Perhaps I have been through the process once, though we didn't follow exactly the rules and regulation... Some said it was the blessing from everyone. ( although many will moan especially when they will get a few in a month ) but they will attend and keep moaning until they shout YAMMMM SINGGGG loudly.

I do not had the wedding dinner, as we just simply penned down a signature and another one after few years. It could be the major reason... No dinner.... Hmmmm.... I doubt (still)..... Lack of the blessing from everyone... (or it is about time to admit the lack of communication from both parties... Perhaps)

It was about the same time 2 years ago where the question were raised about this issue. The answer from me come later after few months, where I sincerely doesn't think it is such a good idea to hold on to something that I shouldn't to.... Harsh isn't it? I doubt that as well. (seems I don't have any certain answer for everything)

Always it was a beautiful day and blessing moment to see some friends getting involved in those event and as others said, getting into the married list and started a new family... It is about the age to do so, in fact... Most of us has surplus that age limit. New generation either getting it done earlier or later. In fact it shouldn't be counted by time, doesn't mean being together long enough, it will automatically trigger the marriage... It just mutual agreement will raise, and only they knew it.

Still I am worried by a word from a friend... As she met most of the bird that do not have legs... That they doesn't want to settle down, or being tied up... With unknown or nonsense reason... Well, for me, perhaps the shadow of the previous marriage... I sometimes think I am not even equip with the wings to fly.... Sad....

Perhaps is another symptom of being too free for a long period and you hardly can find the way back to the cage to lock the freedom again. If you asked me whether to dip into it again.... Certainly there are no certain answer for it... Sometimes a bigger hope just another plane landing hard....

Sometimes let it be, follow the flow will kills many hopes as you giving no action in the tide... In order to save yourself, somehow you have to hang on to something... Instead just let the speedy tide flush you away. It could be a way to save yourself, or it could be giving a change for others to let you a hand.

A love that can start with a feel and ends with it as well... But a marriage required a more solid base for everything, from every aspect. No matter romantically, reality, love and bun... You have to love the bun to eat it, you need the bun to maintain the love sometimes.

Step by step

2011-09-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Stepping on the journey, it doesn't have to be fast.
Sometimes people walk in front, and sometimes at the back.
It would be great if it will be side by side.

Not too fast, not too slow.
you one step, me one step.
not necessary holding hand,
but the heart won't be far,
if the step, tempo is the same.

along the way when we get lost,
you won't be far,
it just few step ahead or at the back.
if my hand cannot reach you,
stay for a while, and i will come and get you.

the importance is walking towards the same destination.

Journey to the Peak – Mt. Kinabalu

2011-09-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

A journey doesn’t start when we jumped into a van that transfer us to the destination, instead it has started by the time I had clicked on the button, “I’m attending” this event. Followed by the organizing (not me), preparation work, training on my fitness, stamina by jogging more regularly, as we are going from a different trail, which is 2KM longer.

Our first stop at Nabalu tiny town, which has developed into a handicraft market over the years. We spend most of the time at the watching tower, looking at the mountain waves its hand for our challenges. It just the turtle and monkey soft toy in the handicraft market inspires me a bit. Two of this species would never meet each other in normal life, but something that has brought them together. Here we are, on the same group going for the same destination.

The first group photo was taken under our Sabah flag. It was conjunction of the Merdaka day and Hari Raya on the following day. It is the best moment to raise the flag at the top of the mountain on that day. Well, I still have my own message to be sent out when reaching the top. Glad I did it as well, where I was unable to do so 10 years ago. The message was sent out, but it would be a totally different meaning after the time goes by.

The same destination that you have been for few times doesn’t mean that you have been exploring every corner of it. Hot spring for instance, I have been here for few times, but I’d never been to the second waterfall. Langanan Waterfall was another 3.3KM walking distance, which is worth for it when you saw the 3 stories waterfall. It has been another target in mind for the next visit, planned for the date and what to do, what to bring has been set in mind. One of the ways that keeps me busy all the time.

A warm steamboat dinner and a magnificent breakfast has been the energy source to start the first 8km trail to the Laban Rata. I have taking more photos on plants and scenery along the 8km trail, spot on something that never pop into my eyes for the previous attempt on a different trail. Different types of fern leaves, monkey cup, butterfly leaves, pakis… even notice a squirrel keeps leading us along the way. (not sure is it the same one) When reach higher ground, you can slowly notice the changes, not just the plants type, as well as the ground, soil, rock. Starting to amaze the work to explore the trail, when there was a will, there is a way. A path that not only steps, staircases, but most important the handle and fence for safety purposes.

The 8km trail doesn’t go fast at all, slowly 1 step by another. Thigh was cramped for several times but that doesn’t stop me from complete the 1^st task. The rain forest simply is the forest with rain all the times. On and off we have to wear and take off the rain coat. It is hot when you keep walking with the rain coat on, it is cold when you stop and rest with only tee and shorts. (basically those are wet with mixture of sweat and rain)

I know I need to choose the better outfit next time. A glove that is water proof, yet not too thick so that I can easily snap photo but without the need of taking off the glove. A better raincoat, a water proof bag because you cannot predict the weather over there.

It is a bit late by the time we reach Laban Rata resthouse, though we still make it for the dinner. The weather is getting cold with strong wind outside, not to mention the mixture of some rain. A hot coffee is what I get on the first aside of food. The warmest moment when it flows into the body, hot and refreshing. Don’t dare to take bath as there is not enough power to generate the water heater over here. Just quickly clean up, tidy up and get to bed as we need to wake up in the midnight to continue the 2^nd part of the journey. Unfortunately, even with the lights off, I still cannot fall asleep. I thought I should be tired and will fall asleep as soon as I was on the bed. Honestly, the body doesn’t seem too tired, just the leg feels the tension on the constant steps and hike. It could be the effect of constant running to gain and restore the stamina and fitness for this trip. (still have to workout for the muscle) or I have been part of the following sickness. :p

Altitude sickness, acute mountain sickness (AMS), some of the member starting to have this once getting into the resthouse, even starting of the 2^nd part of the journey. 高山症 -早期的症狀包括倦怠、全身無力，尤其是在費力登山時，更甚者開始出現頭痛、失眠、持續的心跳加速、噁心和嘔吐(尤其是小孩)。最嚴重的症狀則包括意識混淆、急性精神分裂、出現幻覺、還有肺水腫造成的持續咳嗽，最終則可能出現抽搐及昏迷。

At some point I think they journey will be stop here as the rain still ongoing without the intention to stop. Well, it could be the power of the prayers from the group, it starting to slower the shower as we still manage to take off for the 2^nd part of the challenge.

It was 230 in the morning; we need to light up the path with headlamp and torch. The second part of the trail is different. Most of it was rock climbing, walking on a constant slope of granite surface. Some point, you need to hold on to the rope as there was not much of the space for you to walk on it. Do not look down as you don’t want to fall off the cliff. For the first time I felt the tiredness as the air is thinner here and it drains your energy faster. Furthermore, I didn’t sleep at the first place, and didn’t take the supper, the freezing cold air and rain has force some of the member at the halfway.

Chocolate has been the savoir and allowed me to continue the challenge. After restore the energy, I was able to walk towards the peak. There is nothing much to see over here, just a large field of granite, and of course it is not just flat. You still have to force the way to overcome the slope and avoid the slippery surface; a slip will bring you to nowhere. The weather and temperature just doesn’t allow me to stop for photo shooting. Freezing cold when I have to take off the glove in order to take photos. I was thinking to take video at the first place, where this will never workout with the rain constantly hitting the camera, unless I have the water proof casing…. (hmmm… another thing into the buying list? Hehe)

I put my backpack on somewhere and straight rush on to the peak, and hardly find it on the way down. :p It is a bit crowded on the top where we just able to take some photos and starting to get down. I cannot stand the temperature with the strong wind and the rain is getting heavier. Rushing down as you can see the water has rapidly formed into river, then waterfall. That has urged you to walk faster, as you still have rope and cliff to overcome. Safely come down to the place where we take off from the dark. I twist my knee when it was almost reach the rest house, where I stepped on a moving rock.

It has slowed me down for the process of going down from the Laban Rata toward the Timpohon gate. But slowly I have found a way to minimize the pain that the left leg will suffered from the direct force. This has allowed me to catch up with the last group of the member and to continue the way back home.

It is worth it even it just a piece of certificate that indicates you has been there, with some photos of course. It was a memorable experience and starting to look forward to improve on the next challenge. I missed the stick that has gone through the expedition with me throughout the journey. It has absorbed most of my body weight, sweat and tension when I have to grab tight on it.

Along the journey, you have to prepare for it, the toughness as you can predict. The preparation to face the unpredictable weather, cope with it. The journey ends when you reach home safely and learn something along it, aside the experience, blending in, justified to the environment. Sometimes not necessarily reaching the peak does matter, the improvement, the courage, self-reflection is the main lesson for the journey.

Where's the JULY?

2011-08-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

July, i had this and i thought i can store the words from every corner of the world... but instead things still stored inside my brain which most of the occasion, the memory lost in half way and they didn't make it here into my blog.... :p

as always i had "excuses" for everything.... and i would be having a doom day if i cannot find any excuses when i need one.

part of the short notes i have noted down into my phone has gone as well, as i didn't backup before doing the factory default setting. ( actually is telco problem where i had reset as i thought it just phone OS problem )

Well, something just gone with a reason, no matter what was it, trying to recall doesn't do any good, as there will be a long wait for that moment. Like someone said, if it was a good one, then you sure will remember it for life...... (some even hate it for life, for couldn't forget it)

Here i am, start to type again with my keyboard come back after loaned out, and the laptop is still on loan... and the new ipad2 is still undergo warranty claim....no options is the only option, and yet a choice.

Unknown pressure has got to me recently, better word to describe it, it could be "EMO-ing". Although i just finished up an annual event, there is 1 more to come near the end of the year. Why the pressure has got on me? As i have planned my holiday schedule as well, 8, 9, 10, 11.... i just miss out the 12.... (could be spending too much)

Looking back to the calendar, it was the 8th pages now and still counting, it will never stop, and yet my schedule for this year is quite packed..... for that i won't have much time to do something else... like "emo-ing"?? It is good to be busy rather than doing nothing... cause doing nothing doesn't mean you are actually relax and enjoying. ( although everyone was wishing, they don't need to do anything )

Plan and execute, executing the plan has slowly changed to prolong the period the plan to me...... as always, it was another specialty of mine.... drag and drop..... just don't know where is the courage to expedite things, like i once was.... kind of lost of the head, flying around without target. (but eventually you know what to do) HOW? just do it... :p

It has been almost 2 years, ( why i recon it was more than that, it was like 5 or 6 years already). Hopefully the next trail will lead me to something, not just courage.

Another place called home

2011-06-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a place that you can call it as a home, yet some people just don't like to stay here for a long time.

It is a place that most of us were born. Where we first smell the outside world after staying in the water world for 10 months. We were then accompanied by our parents and surrounded by all the white shirts, of course with the smells of medicine and chemical.

Once a while as we will come back home again, when we drop into some illness. It just like most of us, we tend to leave home to discover, to form our own family and find our own home. Along the way, whenever there are sadness, obstacles, we will initially go back to our home, charged with warmth energy and calm the mind a bit.

As every time we go back home to charge ourself, we will slowly noticed their hair has changed from black color and turned into silver, the wrinkles has become more obvious. At that point of time, they are actually spending more time by visiting the home where they originally come from, the hospital.

So true that no one can escape that circle of life, as we all will been through it. It just like we are following the footsteps of our parents, a path that they have created.

Mixtures

2011-06-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

There are a big hole for everything, that everything coming in for this few months, it is without a proper arrangement and sequence, cause they all jammed up before the hole and not getting into it.

That makes a big gap between post with post...... as usual i had the reason for everything, this is as usual... BUSY.... a lot more reason, i type less for the time being as my hand has upgraded its level to "mother" actually i have the difficulty to lift and hold heavy things now... even some said is holding too much of the mouse.... ( there goes another reason to own an ipad2 )

Of course i would not able to listen to the clicking sound from the keyboard, and for sure i cannot type as fast as i did now, but that is much more lighter than my laptop now, if i need to bring it out. Then the question is, why would i need to bring it out leh? I wish i can open a new post just to talk about it... just to convince myself for the spending for another gadget. :p

So far all the small topic and notes are store inside my phone, just point form, and i hope i can recall what is the idea or the full picture of it. As day passes by, you are trying to catch up or else tomorrow will get you even faster. (type faster won't help)

Still that lesson for me, you have to make it happened within the given time. Then it will be missing of fun in doing things that way, always follow the schedule, priority, urgency... well, there goes another reason for being lazy.... :p

无心的爱

2011-05-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

上星期一直被这个字的简体而围绕着。
现代的 “无心的爱” 一个被去掉心的爱。
一个简单化书写，而一样复杂的字。
反正不一定有心去爱就一定能长久，
也不是曾经爱过就能足够。

现代的爱还需要一些友情的祝福，
成不了爱人过后也尽量保持友情。
毕竟以前的爱有着恒久的一心一意，
挺持着宝盖以及一撇与三点的压力。
现在似乎已经放弃了要求一心，
但求保留那爱意过后的纯友情。

不是没有把那爱放在心上，
而是没有倘开心放爱进去。
反思了一下，其实那心不是被去掉了，
而是保留了给两个真心相爱的人吧。

Wounded Heart

2011-05-04T12:43:00.001-07:00

It has been about a month from now, and i still feeling the pain in it. That is a result where, day after days, i didn't realise my skin were so soft, that it cannot stand the rub...

I even having problem to lift up a plastic chair (of course not caused by that wound) it was inside does the damage...... it could be a twist of nerves...

It was just few days and the wound dry out and covered with a new one, soon it will recover to become a newly soft skin of mine....

So obvious i can see the healing progress, it just some part that we normally get hurts and wound ever since we are kids.... we tent to take care of it when we grow up, as we know where and how to protect ourself from getting hurt and in certain way, and where is the high risk area.

There is a healing progress that we hardly can see when the wound is inside.... the heart. I start to wonder how is my scar now, and is there a color difference during the healing process. How does the scar looks like, does it really broken heart with a hairline cracks? I doubt it.....

People take special care for the wound, so that it won't double hurt the same place. It is same goes to the mistake, as we learned from the mistake for not to repeat it... it will be double stupid having the wound x 2 at the same location.

When we have a scar on our body, it will reminds us something... how do we get that... but when the wound recover so well... sometimes, we even don't notice it, and yet we bang it again... there goes another double wound.

Love is blind where it covers the eyes and you won't even notice the wound and people will hit it hard and crash hard.

I had mentioned many times my scar, meaning to say that i wasn't fully recover yet? Awaiting a stronger, warmth and beautiful heart....

Tissue Box

2011-04-29T10:52:00.001-07:00

So true and sad that i knew this a long time ago....

i am just someone that will appear to them when things are not going that smooth.....

It just like you will only use the tissue at certain time, you won't need it when your happy moment. It just helps to wipe out the tears and move on.

It is not a problem to help, but the tissue has to be refill and it seems it is out of stock now, and i have nothing to offer anymore.

It wasn't used up by someone, it just somehow that brand of service has been suspended without further notice.

If you like to wait, please take your number and queue up. The priority line has closed down without further notice as well.

tuuu.............

Royal Loyal Loyalty

2011-04-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

No doubt the loyalty is from the last one. Some will fight back where they will bite you when they gone crazy. (well, anything gone crazy will do that)

The worst part of it is from where.... the 2 legged will purposely bite you or stab you from the back, with strategy, tactic without notice... scary...

That's why the 4 legged being called humans' loyal friends. It just they looked at you, they seems to understand you (out imagination only) and they do listen to simple command (human like others listen to them.. LOL)

Mid of April last year, i lost some of the loyal friends and in karma, lost some real one now... and i am amaze, i can live without them, but not the "money".... less connectivity with less conflicts... that is always true in some circumstances.

Someone used to told me that, everytime after a fight, means the wear and tear gone more serious, until 1 day, it will worn out and left nothing. When the leaves gone yellowish, no matter how you pour water on its, it just start that way, it won't turn back into green for the yellow part, it just didn't fell off the stem.

Things changes every moment, we cannot stop that, and we could only do our part, control what we could, though it was very few that are under our control.

What are WORDS

2011-04-29T09:47:00.001-07:00

The words are lesser for here...

That doesn't means that words from here are actually rumours that shouldn't be voiced out. It just the the draft is in the written form, instead of instantly typing on screen like now. It would be double work to retype what have written into here... hmmm... just don't have that extra time recently.

Sometimes, when the words that comes out without that specific meaning, but in other's eyes, it will be a pin point criticism. (miss interpreted) That's where the miss understanding comes... not stand in the wrong place, it just no matter where... they will sees it as that way.

Busy working but quite happy living with it, just the body was working hard and the heart are actually nourishing. Being told to have some ways to release the stress when got some (keep that at minimum level, release when over half tank... obviously i cannot count so precisely for that)

Listening to music, especially instrument or the Jpop, especially songs from Kazumasa Oda.

On and off getting stress from other's sharing, well, it just another way to release from listening to others. At times, that will get influence by some of the story. (well, everyone has their own story to tell)

A compact life and schedule recently, classes, activities, sports - to come, events with numerous meeting, and many more events to come..... so, the only time that will feel the loneliness will be on the bed, where the bed actually has quite extra space for me alone... but that is minimal time to spend consciously, as after the compact schedule, i eventually fall asleep very fast... count to 10.... well, reading before asleep also expedite that process... (natural sleeping pills)

King's speech

2011-03-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

a story about a king... not those fighting in the battle field, not those fighting for authority and mastermind for benefits, politically, but it was a journey fighting for his voice.

For me, it was the relationship between him and the king, an unorthodox speech therapist. Which has his own rule and firm on it, not even a king can crack it.

It was the sturdy friendship that doesn't build up cheaply, though with the obvious different, huge gap in status, confront the king as he does to earn the trust, but not in the first attempt.

A speech therapist told the stammer king as we all are the same, and the king reply, if we all are the same and i wouldn't have come here and sitting in front of you....

The same in the sense where no special privilege for a king, no additional charges, no jump queue, every castle has its own rules. A rule that will keep everything in line, even for a king, without exceptional.

Though it was a little lie in between, with a sincere apology, they just getting stronger, and in return with a trust lies within.

We doesn't earn the trust from other, instead it just gain.....

三月细雨

2011-03-01T09:25:00.000-08:00

今天天色灰暗，早上一阵的倾盆大雨，接着忽然小雨，
然后悠然细雨，直到晚上还一直下雨。

中午出外工作的时候，看见情侣拖着手在细雨中漫步有点浪漫，
然而我在路上看见的细雨却是漂浮不定。
雨丝真的很细，随着空气流动，不时雨群向右，又忽左。
它们从离开云端的那一刻开始轻轻飘舞，直到搁浅在地面上，
也有些停泊在我那白色半透明的雨伞上。

它们本身的重量，随着云端洒发调节器，调到最细的程度，
徐徐的对地心吸力微弱地回应，翩翩起舞的降落。

轻轻的细雨，不希望能沾湿人们的服饰，
轻轻的细语，只希望能搁浅在你的心里。

100th

2011-02-07T08:33:00.001-08:00

For sure this is not the things and thought that are inside my mind tonight, not before i saw the 99th, before i clicked on the new post.

Things could be change for the next moment, and that is really out of your schedule. It does happened to me quite often, and that will makes a person that really change accordingly to the situation, and stand on no ground.

So many thoughts that has flied away when things are not captured, some said the best thing would come back to you. So, better to write what is with me now, rather than to recall back the lost.

The plan are definitely cannot compete with the changes, the changes always come faster than the schedule.

Here is a little dream catcher and it hits the number 100. We have to move on and plan remains when it was not executed.

So, step on the gas and let it roll.... further and bigger number.

日历第二页

2011-02-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

很快地就翻开了第二页，日历是一页一页地翻，格子是一格一格地过，时间是一秒一秒的走，人体是一粒一粒的长。。。细胞嫲。。。。。

新年时段，睡眠较少，欢笑较多，开心的时秒，不塞车的日子，丰富的晚餐，久违的脸孔，这就是新年时段。

当然，健康水平也会逐渐提升，提升到警告讯号响铃~~
快乐的分泌来不及溶解丰富的食品，富裕的欢聚奢侈的睡眠，都告诉着我，我依然是那个矛盾的我。

“满” 头雾水，
“满” 怀心事，
“满” 地杂物，
“满” 不经心。

新春的头香上了，
新年的家访拜了，
佳节的菜肴吃了，
春节的游戏玩了，
年春的计划未拟，
往年的工作未完，
今年的目标未知，
活在当下迎未来。

KK公路极速传说 - Double Park 篇

2011-01-29T06:26:00.000-08:00

亜庇版的公路驾驶手册（更新中）

亜庇在沙巴州说大不大，说小不小，沙巴州却是全马来西亚面俱第二大的州属。可是人民脚步都很笨重，超过15米要步行的地方，就是远。下车过后还会被太阳照射到的地方，就是很远，很远。

随着地方人口，建筑物，车辆的数量增加，十年如半日的公共交通设备，没法子改善的陆路交通编排，新旧建筑物建造时而忽略了停车位的问题（因为根本就没有想过以后的发展，没有预留弹跳空间）所以很多的问题陆陆续续的出现了，就在这大地方，小路上。

Double Park 买东西 - 一定要有停车位的，顺带一提，当地人的停车位不一定是指商场里的地下或高层的停车位，而是指，一下车走两步就可以到的，哪管什么位不位的。地区70%的店铺外的停车位，都是放着店主的车。买东西的就必定double park，塞住其他的在停车位的车后。前一排，后一排，double park 一排，原本可以两辆车通行的道路，变成了超慢行驶道。

Double Park 住宅区 - 每家每户通常有车的，都是超过一辆车。通常组屋只给一个停车位，些许空位留给探访客，可想而知，也没人管什么探访客位什么的，就连访客也停泊在住户的位子，而屋主回到来就会猛按喇叭，直到有人来把车子驶走。排屋的问题就像店铺的问题一般了。不想把车子停在自己家人的车子后面，所以就停在住家的路边了，因为家人要出的时候不用倒车子，麻烦。反正停在路边，住宅区嘛，一辆车可以通过就好了。这时候会发现邻居都很好，会让你过先。。。不然大家没的过，你出不去，我回不了。

Double Park 中旺区 - 平时有人去，但是还是有停车位的地方。不知道是不是Double Park习惯了，就算有一个真正的停车位，他们就是喜欢停在那个空的停车位后面。这种人会给的理由就只有一个，反正我一下子罢了，很快的。。。其他随后到来的驾驶人士就会破口大骂，你不要进也不要挡住嘛！

Double Park KOPI-O 驾照 - 不知道这些真的是纯咖啡驾照，还是故意的，他们可以准确地停泊在两个格子的中间，一辆车停两个位。不管是大型的车，还是小型的车，都会犯。跑车呢，是故意的，深怕隔壁的车门会碰到刮花(不要驾出来啦）。大型的唯一可以原谅就是不够空位转向，因为一定会有车 Double Park 顶住，不过，通常发现，没车顶住也一样，因为懒惰再倒退，再摆正。（纯咖啡）

Double Park 高速路路边 - 买东西，卖东西。因为卖东西的在路边，所以买东西当然也要停在路边咯。问题就是，KK人手指残障，不会打讯号灯，但是会急转弯，忽然就停下来。。。买东西。曾经就有案例，为了闪避而撞上了卖东西的。

Double Park 上下人 - 如果上课时候，放学时候，经过学校，千万要小心。繁忙的路段，讯号灯，停下，载人。。。也不管后面的排长龙，总之前面停，后面也要跟着停。巴士要停车，后面的也要等，有人挥挥手，巴士也停车。。。跟在它们的后面，小心留意，不然巴士里面很多人埋怨你，弄到他们全都迟到。当然，他们都没有埋怨过，他们想在哪里下车，就在那里停。

Double Park 拐弯处 - 停车位根本就不够，但是有些车主，也不知道自己的车大部，偏偏就爱停在拐弯处，卡车根本就转不过去。喇叭按了老半天，也没有人回应。因为他没有顶着其他的车位，也没有顶着停泊的车。但是他也没有意识到，普通的车都过去了，这世界上还有大卡车。。。。。。

Double Park 后记。。。当然本人也有做过这种事，迫不得已，逼着要做，我还是会放我的名片在镜子上，或者如果是平地上，我还会放松车子的手制动器，车子还是可以推前或往后。KK人都怕车子被其他人推到去撞墙，或刮花。比起如果他们真的有急事，你。。。可能害人一世。

车子只是代步的东西，人驾着车子动，而不是车子夹着人动。记得父亲以前问我说，以前没有车子的时候是怎样呢？还不是用双脚吗？

格子情感

2011-01-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

逝去的爱情，就像旧的日历。。。

每个格子，写得满满的，

但不翻阅，还是记不起那么多。

新的日历，格子还是空空的。。。

等待的，是有那一天。。。

在那一个格子，画上一个 ❤

二月较短暂，正正到一半，

有些拖着伴，有些觅着伴，

有些是老伴，自己看着办。

有趣的日历，仿佛告诉我自己。。。

那一天。。。我是有空挡的。

日历上那小小的格子里，可以写的东西有限，

那小小的格子里，可以更改的东西更加有限，

可是那未知数的格子里，可以发生的事，却是无限量的。

我期待着那一天的到来，可是没有人知道以后的格子里的东西，

我期待着那一天的到来，同时更希望那心。。。是开的。。。

日历的格子，开心的翻阅，期待着未来，珍惜着当下。

Enjoyment

2011-01-22T09:32:00.001-08:00

It's Saturday night and passing by some of the pub nearby, seeing peoples shouingt and hardly can walk in a straight line.....

What is it in their mind at this point of time... he/she had a great day and filled the night to the fullest... perhaps only filled with alcohol.... that seems, or temporarily throwing some of the worries and in fact getting another long term worries if things continues few times in a week.... the lung disorder.

Some said it is enjoyable night drinking and wandering in pub... for me... i tried hard to accept... but seems i was too rational... what's the point waste the money and get yourself drunk, hangover the next morning.... shouting in the pub and talking nothing..... and occasionally someone will knock your glass and shout bottom up....

I don't mind to have some wine and a little bit of talking, not just speak and shout... in a table dinner, though i am not good in bringing up some interesting topic in most of the time....

Though, there are many find it interesting place and constantly visit.... they don't waste money on here, they spend it as they think it worths it..... for me, i rather to buy something, a book would be a good choice... to fill with lots of words....

2012

2011-01-18T08:14:00.001-08:00

如果有哪一天，时间不再流逝，

地球不再转动，当一切都静止。。。

那熟悉的脸孔，那曾经的话语，

那心里的文字，我全都想保留。。。

如果那一天过后，还真的希望一切可以统一，

知识可以延续，信念会比以前坚韧，

真情要倾盆的流露。

如果哪一天过后，经典可以保存，

文字可以达理，理念可以融合，

众生可以包容，宗教可以并存。。。

那应该是真真的 - 人间净土，人间人弗教。。。

1st post of 2011

2011-01-17T05:50:00.001-08:00

dunno why it took me so long to update things here, basically there were plenty of the words and it just not taken down at the first place, and it doesn't show up here the second place......

it has been packed schedule before the new year started.... and slowly all the event has gone into history.... (of course there are more to come, but at least there are some gap to breath)

the best part of these activities, it was planned year ahead, and execute when the time reach.... it was so routine or soon it will be a habits.

some said it will be very busy when you have to follow it from the start till the end.... well, as the activities were planned earlier, it just need some work before the event, and during the event.... and actually i can plan my works that not to crash with it... and the busy came in when it was out of the plan, a mess.... where everything is going out of the plan...

otherwise... it just an ordinary working day.... it just where the portion of time are given to...

looking back the diary book that i used to carry around.... i have proportion into 3 parts....
1st portion for office work, schedule, meeting, office to do list.
2nd portion for temple work, schedule, notes during meeting or buddha class.
3rd portion for misc, it could be some crazy idea that i can notes it, so just jog down the point, or some important scene after wake up from dreams, (numbers more importantly) some notes sample when i have no place to type, i write on it.

well, it turns out.... misc part is less... office work is not a bit gap compare to misc.... mostly the diary were full with temple thingy..... sometimes, there are nothing called wrong and right.... it just the valuing system is kind of different in certain time and circumstances.

At least if i called last year a drowning or indulge year for myself and the business, i had my days filled with busy and worked on different fields, gain some knowledge and happiness at the same time. A fruitful year (though something big happened past few years), when i think i have to plant some new trees to avoid starving this year.

you don't harvest when you plant nothing.

miracle doesn't really exist when someone worked on it.

Peg-top

2010-12-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

somehow and sometimes, think the couples and this is quite similar.

1 doing the throwing and another 1 is doing the spinning.

wind it well and throw it well, it could be spinning for a longer period of time.

some knew it will keep spinning and choose to come back until it stop, though some doesn't.

some stand still and observe it as art of spinning and stay until it stopped.

some rewind it and let it spin again once it stop.

some tent not to spin very well and drop off quickly.

It just like when a relationship has cool down, some chosen to reheat it, or ignore it, a short sparks or it just a single handed claps.

More often when both are into a relationship, 1 will do the throwing, 1 willing to do the spinning.

As long as the one keeps throwing, and the one keeps spinning, there will be less of the problem arise.

The real problem arise when the one normally throwing, wants to try to spinning. The one normally doing spinning has no interest in throwing and quits spinning as well.

People starts playing will act like this, i throw, and you spins, will do whatever it takes to make sure you spinning. Mutual understanding.

When the spinning and rewind too much, after the throw, come back again in few hours time.

There are no rules saying that how many times after spinning, you have to change side and doing the throwing.

In fact, there are no statement where how long have been spinning will leads to a throw.

Perhaps the rule is where the position will never ever changed.

礼物

2010-12-24T20:20:00.001-08:00

终於可以在今天划上句点
一整夜翻阅过去画面
快想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋
走一步又一步我才发现绕了个圈
走了好几年又回到原点
你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远
你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有污点
就像每段爱总会有终点
世上最残酷的恐怕是时间
困住人一切却还向前
乾涸的眼再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界
走一步又一步却跟不上你的脚步
你满意了为什麼我却只想要哭
你说做自己吧我们都做回自己哦~
不要再为爱受委屈
你送的礼物原来是一场劫
终於分别宿命一样准确
可笑到想要你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜
光著脚我一路奔跑鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲承认曾经备受煎熬
鞋上那记号只有你能明了
过了这一夜我就全忘掉

journey~

2010-12-23T09:48:00.001-08:00

There are few more title that i can choose from, but instead i have chosen this, partly because of the word "JOURNEY".

The are other titles like, 501 Must-visit cities, Must-visit destination, Must-be-there events, Must-visit nature wonder, Must-visit island and so on.

My eye captures this "Journey" and my hand is doing the action, holding, checking the condition of the book and... there you go, pay the bill.

There are plenty to amaze of, it is places all over the globe, Europe, America - north and south, Africa, Asia and etc.

That words are more meaningful, in the sense of journey, it is not just a destination. It does incurred a lots of works, plans, cost, time, health and many more, and it does not start by the time you reach the destination, everything got started when you think of a place and moving towards.

It just like a target being set, achievable, affordable, accountable, and timely. There goes the start of a journey, whether alone or in a group or coupled.

A start of a life as well is a start of a journey, a journey of happiness or else, as long it is lifelikeness. Whether it was a journey to the east or journey to the west, or the journey to the heart, or even a short one, still it was a journey.

A journey doesn't end by reaching the destination.

A journey is life itself. A life is a journey itself.

The Power of WORDS

2010-12-16T09:40:00.000-08:00

This title has been following me since the week starts. The buying of books, reading of books, reading a message, replying message, others get involve the message, typical jokes on status... bla bla bla.... so on....

there are many of the fact that shown the POWER of it. The matter of fact on an average, people tend to listen and remember, whether it is a good or bad comment or whether it was just a joke.

Well, when the words has going out from the mouth and it has been going into the ear and stored in the brain... forever.... (until someone hit his/her head hard)

As not many can really read one's mind, normal we take what someone saying is how the minds calculate. There are cases where people speaks what is totally different from what they eventually thinking. It was not saying that they are lying, but they just don't like to say things following their heart instead, they like to fight for it, or call for a fight.

There are many cases where the collision started from the differ of interception and interpretation. It was always unintended speaking and met with the intentional ear.

give me reason but don't give me choice

2010-12-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

by looking at the picture beside.... hardly you can know what are the motive of getting these stones in this way. Maybe the one who arranged it wouldn't sure as well.... well, we assume....

It was raining heavily for the past few week, most of the place have a little flood....

It is freaking freezing at places which are frozen with snow and really low temperature....

it was a rare sunny day this morning but a bad news where a house of friends are receiving present from Santa.... a light-up on fire....

As planned last night, i am going to revisit that place for books hunting, great sales on something that i am interested, as i just starting to like the power of the words.

A shower before going out as i might getting home late... very late, after a dinner and a movie. It was this shower as well, get me linked with the atmosphere things. The heavy rain which fills the drains, could it be we are have abandon something, it could be just to remind us, the drain is easily being filled with even a short but heavy rain, keep it clear. It could be might as well, the heavy rain will keeps the drain washed and it was kept clean.

The heavy snows that frozen the pitch that makes the postpone of MU match, it was a short break for the team to be prepared for another match. The blocked of the road eliminates the uses of most of the vehicle and this apparently minimise the generation of the pollution from engine wastage.

The accident that incur a burnt of a sofa unit and repaint the ceiling with dark color might as well an hint for something that we have to extra paying attention with. Always not only the big problems come from a big occasion.

Somehow there are reasons behind most of everything, it just we are to find it out late before everything happened.

lost in the dark

2010-12-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

A long lost light were found today, where the florescent light were finally changed and fixed. The next target were to get a reading light.

things were done simultaneously, fixing the light and cleaning the bath room. Ever since the last try to fix it was failed, it took me another month or 2 to finally bought a new one and changed it.

I wasn't fear to the dark, it just the dark will be the nature environment for dirts. So of the place that you won't noticed where it was too dark, or perhaps i did knew, but i just let it be.

Speaking about light and the dark, i am kind of searching for a light of mine, as it wasn't that easy to go and buy a new one then fix it in.

As too many flashback and cannot gather even 1 of them. =(

I aM a Murderer.....

2010-12-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

it is no way for me to revive someone... that has been killed by me.....

just 8 words.... it was so powerful....

i was like being hit by a stick at the back of my head...... (actually in front of me)

but i just have nothing else that i can do.... except some stupid things.....

keep on eating.... midnight show..... stay awake late... really late......

it just doesn't help but just make me double stupid...

with these stupid things to torture myself doesn't do any good for anything as well....

and it just doesn't take away, even a bit of my inner sin as well......

断人道心，如断人命。

ok, i just double confirmed the words of it... it actually is.....

断人慧命，罪等杀人。

Peter Never Land

2010-11-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

There is a place called never-never land, stays a Peter Pan. We have search over the globe and we could only ask "where in earth is this place?"

Somehow, the closer one, i think it could be found in the kindergarten, play school or even primary school. The teachers are the Peter Pan without its costume.

Every year they are watching the group of similar age and playing around in the never-never land. The education seed has been planted and that is the root for the children.

When it is time to leave the never land, children are to grow, in a very fast tempo and starting to step into another land named - reality.

The rules and regulation in the different land doesn't stays the same, but some of the knowledge still remains. The true or false statement are very blur over here, as some of the judgement that seems wrong but there are a solid point for it to stays that way. A solid fact that it will never collapse and it will accepted by everybody, that's the true fact.

Still there are different standard, rules and regulation within the different world. Never-never land, it could be a sorry to settle the problem, but in reality land, that's why there's a place called window-window land, full with grills.

The simple thing that can be us happy for a day in the never-never land could maybe just makes us happy and smile for a while in the reality. The reality world wasn't that bad eventually as most of them found the way of living and fairly suite into, and become its civilian. Some of them decide to go back to the never-never land by becoming a teacher.

It is not they escape from the reality land, it just they have work hard to find the only piece of land, that are closely match their own............

NEVER-NEVER LAND.

life movie

2010-11-25T10:31:00.001-08:00

The are a job title that are manage to scold, beat(reasonable) people and yet will receive their salary at the end of the day. They are "TEACHER".

Teacher should be 1 of the director of many lives. They plays a big part, how would a story goes in a live. The seed were planted and they can start to watch the movie rolls and grows.

A teacher can simply watch a 50 live movie at the same time. As reading a book can only know 1 story, by reading the class they can eventually read 50 books at the same time. Everyday 50 new stories.

A simple greet every morning will have 50 greeting returned. Morning class x 1 and morning teacher x 50.

The 50 honors when they all grown up and start to flies with their own wings. Yet, teacher only received 50 thanks and salary x 1, not 50.

50 caring to each of the student and lucky if there will be 1 or 2 student will ask, how are you today, teacher?

Maybe the best return for them is a proper learning, proper growing and a nice and happy movie ending.

happy birth"day" to me

2010-11-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to me... and this is not my cake, but it was my capture.... on a friend birthday night.

Well, it was story behind for not to cut a cake or celebrate on this 10th date.

The special day once a year, slowly it has been a normal day for me, just another sunrise and sunset. Maybe when started to consume food with a lighter taste, then the expectation has gone lower..... could it be a little surprise has become a major.... who knows.

There are reasons to get hold on it, and who knows, there will be a stronger reason to flip it all over up and down. Stubborn to hold on and it might a simple reason to change the rule... could it be the rule is not firm enough so it could easily broken.... but... some rules are depends.

Some are personal rules, and whether how you did it, and no one will know at the end. I have tried to ask myself not to repeat the reply for all the greeting i've received in fb. Well, i've tried my best, and i have add in different at least, rather than just thank you... xie xie, thanks....

Spending most of the time to think about it and if you ask me, worth or not.... i just reply with the first impression, fast thinking and that's it, again it will become an usual task, in fact, just once a year, it tough took me some time to finish the task.

Just a simple task and simple day, do not make it too complicated. ( but i will try to think, how to do it for others big day... weird)

maybe just not used to receive.... giving, giving, and giving...

midnight cruise....

2010-10-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

woke up in the middle of the night.... going out to bank area, bank in and kiosk for credit card payment... drive slowly, and enjoy the cruise.... sing along the music.... and all these can be done within 30 minutes return trip compares to peak hour, where you need the time of a soccer match.

Save on fuel as no need to stuck in the traffic jam and no air conditioning required. Simply open the window and you are not smelling gas from another car, as there are not much of the car you will notice.

Save time as no need to find parking and walk a miles (though walking is not bad), won't need parking ticket as all are off duty. There are plenty of the parking space and you can actually park few spaces if you are one of those kopi-o licensed driver.

No fear, as no one is around you (but always recommend goes in group) The most danger is human, the rest (don't watch too many horror movies) doesn't even thought about that. As no other around by that moment, then there are less incident will be happened.

Finds it quick and efficiency are high, hopping from bank to bank, you can even drive until its door step, no jam, no queue and plenty spaces. Of course, i am lucky that those kiosk are functioning, as sometimes even the machine is into resting hour. I even witness the light off moment of those billboard during the way back...... light off to continue ZZZzzzz

been a while....

2010-10-16T03:45:00.000-07:00

haven't wrote anything for this month as the just half pass the month of October.

迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容。。。soon i will pay back some of the moment into here as well.

there are sure stories everyday.... whether it is green bean sesame or emo thingy...

sounds nothing big is going on.... well, a little wave on the ocean will be lower the risk for life...

catch or gone

2010-09-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

黏答答的身躯，因忙碌了一天，身躯的排泄物，冲洗后，如重生。
湿答答的眼眶，心情感的流露，眼睛的排泄物，擦得干，流不完。
湿黏黏的垂液，话语透漏太多，情绪的排泄物，说不尽，听完算。
黏搭湿的鼻屎，空中的纠结品，鼻孔的排泄物，防污进，挖不尽。
黏搭油的耳粪，抱怨多爱语少，耳朵的排泄物，挖不空，难尽听。
米田共的粪便，温饱物食口入，肠胃的排泄物，全力食，排不尽。
空荡荡的脑袋，复杂且烦恼丝，灵感是排泄物，抓不紧，忘不缺。

A day

2010-09-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

the last day of the month, had a great day.... finished some office work at home, and had some chat, listen to some moaning.... learning to listen.... at least there are some people to listen to her.... else 1 person stay at home, no one to talk to and no one listening to.... hmmmm....

learning to treasure these kind of moment after 3x over years.... quite late i can say... glad still able to dip into these kind of moment....

stay home, chat, go out for grocery...... (though i know it would be different if i were there everyday) trying to make it more frequent, no once a blue moon..... too much of it will spoil the balance....

always searching for the balance is not simple task, too much or less will break the balance.... and the worse is where the balance has no destine point or a normal standard for us to follow nor any guide for us.....

a day is not just 24 hours, it just too many of details and moment that flows.

我还是会每天在这等你。

2010-09-13T11:12:00.001-07:00

如果这就是回忆，但出现在这身躯里，我还是会每天在这等你。

如果那时的空凳坐的是我们，那一望无际的不会是一片汪洋，因为有你在我身旁。

回忆让我想起了，那第一个早晨，那时的相遇，直到后来的相识与相知。

回忆也让我想起，那第一个夜晚，星星洒满了夜空，荧火虫从容的飞行。

如果当时留在沙滩的脚印，风催，浪盖会抚平，

为什么你在我心里的一句，却可以反复不停的翻滚。

如果平静的湖水方能倒影，那日出的时刻却澎湃炽热。

如果旧的回忆都是珍贵的，那些新的未来却是无价的。

365 days after life

2010-09-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

HE used to take many photo, salons...

365 days after HE left us.

by the time i want to wrote this, the playlist is playing 我愿意。

思念是一种玄的东西，我无力抗拒，特别是夜里。

就算多一秒停留在你怀里。。。。。。

there are so many things that i am not manage to do it for him,
and i am even further from the target.

tomorrow will try my best to make some special treat... for the family,
for mum to relax, hope she won't feel there are less people to take care of her.

i just hope YOU will like it too............ :-@

1st 10

2010-09-06T10:25:00.001-07:00

It has been almost 1 year, 12 months with 12 of the "10".

Suddenly have thought of preparing dinner at home, just the menu didn't show up clear enough in my mind, think is time to refer to the cook book where i used to have, but being ignored....

I think is time that i will do something for them, instead just spend money and eat. Let mum rest for this day, let her taste my work.... (hmm... pressure - they really don't like vegetarian food)

I think it was the easiest way to persuade them for a no meat day. So fast that it has come to 12 calender month since that day HE left us.

Honestly, the pain has gone, left only the memories, the missing... just hope at least can see him in my dreams. I had a few with his smiling face in my dreams though.....

3 days to go, need to work on the menu and prepare the ingredients.... dad, give me your order, if i can do it... :p

3 dishes, 1 soup? ganbareh...

蓝月空白沙滩

2010-08-31T22:40:00.000-07:00

another song came out when i am trying to dry laundries.

那蓝蓝的一片天空

参插着几片的白云

还有那白天不常出现的月光

哦~ 我们在那一年夏天

沙滩上戴上了笑脸

出现在每一张美丽的照片 ~ baby

沙和滩陪伴着蓝天

呈现了一张美妙的画面

欢笑声划破了天空哦~

那风筝飞上了枝头

为那树增添了美丽的颜色

我们挥着手一起说再见~

我们一定会再见~~~

light....

2010-08-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

The brightness.... is all inside you.

The darkness...... is all around you.

Shine on others, lighten up those around you.

Who light me up?!

The more you shine on others........ the brighter you are.

Who light me then?!

Family and Friends. _/|\_

生命 “you” take2

2010-08-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

many says there are only 1 take for your life......

and i said, you have to take 2 in your life.

My friends were into an accident last few days..... "2" am something early morning on the way back home..... "2" co-incident the traffic light is malfunction, and "2" cars bang..... being hit by a small tiny car, and my friend is driving a 4wd..... being flipped by the tiny..... as this tiny didn't noticed them, and accuse that they suddenly show up.....

Rear left impact on the 4wd, and front left impact on the tiny........ obviously the tiny is speeding, but "2" bad, "2" of my friend had "2" cups of alcohol..... and the tiny maybe changed "2" a different driver.... which is a girl...... rush to them as say she is the driver.... and the guy with her is kind of..... after having "2" bottles.......

"2" days later, bump into "2" different scenario.

"2" good that i've found out that the "2" electric wire cable are half naked where they showed the copper out.... and the MOP with water are covering them..... and when i remove the MOP, i saw tiny fire sparkling..... and the cable shield is burning, turning into darker color......

as i only being reported the networking is not functioning and somehow, the "2" electric cable is the root cause, and it nearly creates tragedy......

"2" of my friends call me in the later night........ asking me for a help on recovering the data from a memory card.

it was a girl from HK, stays in KK for a week..... having pressed the format button on the camera and..... BOOM..... everything is gone.....

She looks very depressed, as she said money can't buy these precious memories..... even the wallet missing is better than losing these memories.... ID card can re-apply.... but this........ :( on her face.

Well, finally we able to recover most of the photo of it and slowly the :) back on her face......

- not everything has the ability to recover from your action.
- do it before it is "2" late.... when it is right in front of you and what is right to do.
- "2" bad, you can't argue after the "2" cups.......

我不知道的

2010-08-13T22:52:00.001-07:00

我不知道。。。我只会问，为什么要一次买那么多的菜，菜放久了会不新鲜。
我不知道。。。原来，没人得空载你去买，一个礼拜才那一天。但是天天都要吃。
我不知道。。。一个家庭的菜要买很多样化。
我不知道。。。一人住的时候是很难买菜，太多吃不完坏掉，太少不卖。
我不知道。。。菜场是家庭主妇的战场。
我不知道。。。超市是单身一族的天堂。
我不知道。。。为什么每次要带那手拉车去买菜，原来是没人帮拿，也不用求人。
我不知道。。。我每次都是拿东西的那个，是因为不会选吗？
我不知道。。。为什么你都听别人说的话，而我说的却不听。
我不知道。。。原来是那方式和语气。
我不知道。。。我能做到什么程度。
我不知道。。。你只想要的是过程，结果是如何已不重要。
我不知道。。。一年的时间很快又到来。
我不知道。。。原来你计算的是每天。。。而很多年以后。

你不知道的

2010-08-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

作词：王力宏瑞业
　　作曲：王力宏

　　蝴蝶眨几次眼睛才学会飞行
how many times you cries and falls
　　夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地
out there many peoples around, but where is the one.
　　我飞行但你坠落之际
when i put a sight on you, eventually you didn't captured it,
but when you captures it, i might be already out of the maze.
　　很靠近还听见呼吸
we used to be so close, close enough to heard the sound of our breath,
but we didn't breath together at last
　　对不起我却没捉紧你
that i can't even raise a hand to capture yours
　　你不知道我为什么离开你
even though my mind wants the hands holding, but just don't know why i let you leave
　　我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
that i had put you into a doom, as i didn't took the step before everything happened
　　你的泪滴像倾盆大雨碎了满地
all the tears has flood my heart,
　　在心里清晰
i just knew it, but can't help it
　　你不知道我为什么狠下心
you don't know why i put down the hand at the first place　
　　盘旋在你看不见的高空里
to let you feel the pain, and grow.... but the sight on you saw everything
　　多的是你不知道的事
many things that you just didn't notice, that the tears of yours is flow into mines
　　你的泪滴像倾盆大雨碎了满地
all mixed and it slowly become an ocean.........
　　在心里清晰
i am drown and couldn't reach a hand on you
　　你不知道我为什么狠下心
you just didn't notice what is in my heart
　　盘旋在你看不见的高空里
feels the pain of your, swallow those tears of yours
　　多的是你不知道的事
or i just never let you came into my heart and see.........

there are shimmering lights that cannot compares to the sun.....

but they are always on, no matter day or night.........

:'(

2010-08-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

just bought some sushi back home and put many wasabi....

finally the first one already makes me cry.... but only a bit of tears come out....

tried put more wasabi on it..... very hard to swallow.... but force it to go in......

as a result..... the whole table and keyboard got rice..... burst out.....

hahahahahaha............. better than to keep all the air inside..... very hard to swallow

when you had whole stomach of anger and grievance.......... and only the table

can take what i spill out.....

Scream!!!!

2010-08-03T03:54:00.000-07:00

啊！

who cares......

2010-08-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

have to start learning how to feel every beat of myself..........

as too care of someone will makes your heart filled with others......
and slowly you cannot find yourself in it.... and slowly losing the balance of 2....

it is easy for me to fill in the blank with you, but it was hard for me to bring you into
my space, maybe i just doesn't give enough or maybe i just don't know how to give it.

到来而不见了

2010-08-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,
but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

不是太阳的“到来而不见”了月亮，也不是为了月亮而不发光。太阳只是在体贴着，让月亮有可以发光的夜晚，也有看得见月亮的早上。它们一直都在。。。就连星星都知道。。。

fever

2010-07-28T04:01:00.000-07:00

伤风感冒。。。和神经不正常有关吗？为什么特别多想法？

1，感冒的时候，很像吸血鬼，那阳光特别的刺眼。

2，今天打了很多次喷嚏。。。还是很大力的。。。不知道 “喷嚏” 会变成什么样。。。。。会很扁吗？

3，咳嗽有两种，其一是干的。。。这一种会使你一直要喝水，喝很多水。。。因为干渴，一直渴，很厉害的渴。。。。

4，我哭了。。。鼻子一直流泪。。。面纸快用完了。。。但是那泪还是不停的流。。。流累了，就歇一会儿吧。。。痊愈了，并不是泪完了。。。只是暂停了。。。

5，a bonus is where every morning you wake up, open your eyes, and start to think of your loves one.... think of their faces, some even are not around anymore.... warmth your heart..... give and take... give me a good sleep and i will take that..... :p

6，试着转换视野。。。四方荧幕换去长广荧幕。。。视野应该会比较宽阔。。。人也比较看得开。。。。。。。。。因为左眼看左边，右眼看右边。。。 \ _ / 看的很开。。。。

7，坚持不等执着，前者较积极，而后者较颓废。

8，心病也有两种，一种是心血管阻塞。。。有得医，不一定痊愈。另一种是心病，没药医，也不一定痊愈。

9，眼泪，传说可以变成钻石。女人的眼泪，可以变成武器。。。鼻子的泪，最多可以变成云吞。。。但也可以变成武器。。。化学武器。。。可以传染。

beautiful faces

2010-07-23T03:28:00.000-07:00

So many beautiful things passing by recently........ why to call a human a thing? well, those just are the moving faces, i don't know them and we do not have eye contact. At least if eye contact will tell you, they are alive..... only IF the eyes are the window for soul.

as the faces just something we do normally sees, and what is more important is inner of a person that we cannot simply see, even after we got to know each other for a long period. We only recognize faces, the latest camera even have face detection and recognition, when you snap the face and put the name on it.

When this face were into some social network, when there are so many comment about it, and yet, it just from some people that you might hardly come across with. Furthermore, those knowing you for a long time and you also cannot tell whether they are telling the truth.

Human are just too into the layout of most of the things, as that is the first impression that captures the attention, then only you got chance to know someone better. Or the other way is someone is well known and everybody seems to agree with it, that's the reputation.

固执 vs 原则

2010-07-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

六点了，想着赶时间，今天就不煮了，干脆在楼下吃算了。。。就点了福建面，只要菜，不要肉。结果面来了，夹着肉。。。。

算。。。把肉夹走就好了，拿了几个小碟，差不多装满了。。。店小二看见了，就问。。。有问题吗？我跟他讲，我点的不要肉的，不过没关系，我慢慢夹走就好。。。

小二见状，拿起筷子兜了兜，然后说：“没关系，帮你炒过。”

结果又再等。。。。。

这次来到的，菜比较多了。。。但是还是夹着肉。。。 T.T

是在玩我吗？还是在引诱我。。。我还没到开斎的时候啦。。。算了吧，把它们诺一边，吃面就好了。。。

我是固执的守那一年斎？还是店小二坚持他的原则？结果剩余的食物是我固执把它浪费了？还是原则浪费了那些食物？

原本赶时间的我，吃完了才发现。。。一个钟过去了。。。再固执下去，可能要几个钟。。。不过无形中，我竟然也多了一个钟，静静坐着，休息。。。。

错有错着。。。。

travel in light...... how wish....

2010-07-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

this weekend will be in KL for a week.... busy scheduling the works need to be done before leaving for the trip.... and only few days until flight time and yet still many work pending..... AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

and i forgot to put a date to pack my luggage.... hate travel with heavy luggage..... means buy a lot and carry a lot.... dreaming of carry some a book, a laptop.... light traveling... enjoy the breakfast, sit back and relax.... doing some reading.... and perhaps some typing... just feel things around..... the people, dress up, ambiance. Snap some moment, site shooting.... ( is like what a retired man will do..... )

well, ticket bought since last year, and last minute only confirm to go.... bring my mum and sis walk around before everything is too late.... hmmmm.... just thinking need to sleep in the same room again.... after so many years..... ( well last trip to HK also like that :p ).....

maybe is good to put things aside... take a break, go sing K.... hehehe ( but cannot choose those duet song..... ) buy something to reward myself..... can't remember when was the last time i release myself......

cool air in genting.... architecture in Melaka.... traffic jam in KL (hate most) ..... just hope a nice trip, to recharge and bring back some nice photos... :p

pressure knock

2010-07-08T19:50:00.000-07:00

当压力来敲门的时候，它应该是种动力。。。
但可能太大力了，它敲破了我心门。。。
还是，是我故意不锁门，让它一击就粉碎了我的心？

永恒的一击，还真的是无法挽回了。
能挽回的，只是那些零零碎碎的残物吧。
只能做成一幅假面具，坚强的微笑着。

哪一个时间，静下来了，没有笑声的时候，
听到的是自己的心跳声？还是心的哭泣声呢？

当那颗心可以清澈的像宝石，那样坚固的心应该不会流泪吧？
可是眼睛是一颗美丽的宝石，正应为它会流泪。。。。

Comment is for other ?

2010-07-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

come back from work and start to giving comments...... scroll up and down, top news and recent........

is it want to keep my mind working non-stop? or i really like to comment? somehow i am blur and don't know that....

comment to others photo and status and i hardly can think of any to change my status.....

if by doing this if beg for comment from others, then really not much of photo, or status for others to comment with as well.....

if giving no comment or keep silence is the equal to agree, then is that too many things that i am not agreed with?

i think i just want to keep the focus out, so that i have no time for myself......

eyes to see others, mouth to talk others, ears to hear others... and hard to clean our heart.....

一首歌。。。想念

2010-07-04T03:24:00.000-07:00

想不到，竟然是在要晒衣服的雨天写出这首歌。

是不是想念的心又在蔓延，
还是是因为雨天，
如果还不确定我在你心田，
我想我还是不会要出现，

是不是爱情已经正在蔓延，
还是是爱的真甜，
还感觉你一直都在我身边，
可是一转身却又看不见，

想念。。。

想念的耳语在我心边，
想念着从前未来画面，
想念着你心我从来不曾改变，

哦，想念，
每当我思念你的时间，
每每我想到哪个雨天，
甜蜜的画面希望它可以重现在我面前。

哦我想念。。。
希望他可以在我身边，
分享着生活海角天边，
漫天夜星的紧紧靠着，
也许就这样就完整了一天，

那静静地想念希望它能实现。

哦我想念。。。

brand new start?!

2010-06-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

No one can go back & make a brand new start.... but anyone can start from now & make a brand new ending!!!

"start and make a brand new ending...." but when you had a really bad start and ending, hardly you can wipe away and start again.... is like you really like to start, but scared to end again... and yet you will keep on telling yourself... never try never know..... then telling yourself again.... something can try and some cannot try.... and keep telling yourself, don't think too much, maybe it wasn't that hard..... maybe all the thinking only 1 sided... as if you really put a lot of thinking about it... how can you tell, has everything already started.....

by the moment when you actually start thinking, many thing has been started without your permission or reason..... it just..... started....

the next thing you need to worry is how to steer it..... left or right, forward or backwards..... into a fair direction.....

Father's Day

2010-06-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

Father's day came out as they don't like only Mothers has their own day off......

think i will light a light and then wait for him.... 先灯，后等。。。sleep tight and wait for him to meet me in the dream.

last few weeks, forgot which day..... dreamed of him... we were at airport and travelling.... but i yell at him... as i wanted to stop him from something.... i did yell when i am rushing onto something.... emergency.... then the pitch will raise....

but very glad that seeing him talk and walking.... just like an ordinary old man... hehe... we just ordinary people..... take it slow..... ( heard this song at noon.... and its fits the night.... )

quite long time ago, he said that he wanted something... or should i say someone.... that someone never appears and he just couldn't have an eye on the someone.... as i rush myself towards this... and it ends up nothing....

yet again.... we are just ordinary people, take it slow......

something that in a rush, and you might end up with a mess.....

really like to lighthen up the path with a light.... for you..... as i wish i can see mine too. _/|\_

Busy again.....

2010-06-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

it has been a while with nothing come out into my blog, but instead, i notes it as point form in my phone instead of sitting and typing.... so.... kinda busy.... office work, customer visit, paper work, phone calls, paying bills, watching WC, listening songs, books..... meetings, preparing for meetings.... call people to attend..... hmmmm..... but still got time to online and chat.... wonder?? :p

Wed party... ceremony.... traditional....

2010-05-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

some said it wasn't a thing for couple, it was the linkage of 2 families. Yup, non of them are wrong indeed, at the end it was the family that they are trying to build.

previously, it was the family to decide, now is where no one really decides.... when there are too many opinion... and there are confusions... and there are more involvement.....

there are surely enjoyment among parties, sharing laughters..... elder... youngsters... kids moving around.... and the screaming around..... maybe personally, i don't like noise, or perhaps i don't like parties..... maybe.... it just ways too traditional........ sophisticated ceremonies... thingys.. .. rules....

of course, the couple were blessed by all the attendee...... and surely there are noise at the back, at some corner.... when some get drunk earlier and shouts!!!..... wouh... many are not behave according to the environment.... (happy time is when you can act as you like?)

to cut short all these troublesome... manies just choose to go for honeymoon.... left the families decide at their own.... some call this selfish.... (well debate topic)

there are always not easy to shut all the mouth from others....... different mind and different thoughts..... and its beyond what we can control.

or maybe i was just too realistic and girls are too long for romantics..... or it could be a failure at the first place and makes me kinda..... refrain from it....

buddha message....

2010-05-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today when i click the god message in FB, it shows me this...........

God are crazy about you, God sends you fresh flowers every spring, a breathtaking sunrise every morning. If God had a wallet, your picture would be in it. If God has a refrigerator, your childhood scribbles would be on it.

and i reply this message like this......

buddha bless.... can you have a bigger wallet to put all the faces in? you can save the flower and refrigerator...... i am not greedy, 3 out of 1 only i am asking..... please.....

Mother's Day

2010-05-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

when the first time i am having a rain coat.... it was purposely for me to dress it on rainy days, for the journey going and back from school.... but when that journey doesn't rain often.... the evil mind started one day, when i was at home and it starts to rain, i wore it and play outside the house.... near the road side, places that have crowded water, kicking and jumping there...... great feeling and my body doesn't get wet at all.... the thick rain coat covered me well.......

but it doesn't cover my mum's anger and tears inside her heart..... she scold me and ask me back, then hit me with the ratan. i learned... you don't have to go out in rainy days when you don't have to, even you are well covered, the tools given are wrongly used and i just let someone that care for me to be worried..... sorry mum. i was 7 that year.

When i was 10, i play along side with some friends near the residential area. We hunt birds using the "lastick". We shoot from a higher ground, aiming to a tree that is full with cherries, and we hit no birds, but a roof top of a house at lower ground..... there are some guy throwing big stone towards us.... and it hits me right at the edge of my left eye..... there are marks until now.... blood flowing out is more than i normally donate.... hehe...

my mum was to stop the bleeding at first.... and bring me along to shout at this guys house...... "he is not doing right, and i don't think you are doing right as well by throwing a big stone towards kids...... you nearly kill this child.... the little stone at your roof will not kill you...." gee, she is strong... i salute her....

but.... when i grown up.... i remember the worst thing i ever done to her.... i shout at her, and i kick on my door room and ask her to leave me alone.... (because of a girl, breakup)......... the kick mark were still there, even the door was repainted.... a sorry afterwards but i didn't tell her the reason for doing it......

a love that will accept almost everything, a love that will only ask for a little return.... that is we all lives happily.....

mother.... i love you.... happy mother's day.... too bad..... i only tell her starting this recent years..... this year i want to hug her and say this......... but i know it will be awkward... we are not used to be that kind of family..... not our style.... hehe.......

心灵的大树

2010-04-29T04:58:00.000-07:00

最近很奇怪，都写华语的。最近的笔记本都在床边，因为梦醒了希望能把它们记住了。但还是有些太凌乱的，忘了。

先是一个旅游的小册子，有着很多地方的图案，景点笔记，当时的心情写照。（其实，这都是自己的想象而已）只记得那本旅游小册子，从一位老师得手中掉了下来（不记得是教过我的哪一位老师，梦后忘了）依稀记得有些明信片，地图，火柴棒?

然后。。。。。。。镜头一转。。。。。（忘记了的可能比较大）。。。。。

就来到了一棵大树下，这棵树很高大，分枝很多也很粗壮。。。因为有人站在上面。。。可能有三，四十个，手拿着火把。企图要把面前的东西点亮，这东西又有点想碑，有着每一位的寄语。先有班长点亮了。。。。然后其他的报着自己的名，然后点灯。。。。

老师在树下，流着泪，看着。。。。。。。。。。。。。（是感动吗？还是很多烟？）

其实，我们每个人是不是都有一本在心里的小册子和大树呢？每一段旅途，每一个路程，遇见的每一个人，哪一些点点滴滴。。。。。。（因该是大脑吧）。。。那点不亮而看不着的脸，是因为还没相见，擦肩而过，还是，你已经忘记了？

原来，当每一盏灯都亮了的时候（想象），一定会很美。。。。。（会火灾吗？），原来，我们的心里，都站了好多的脸孔。。。每个都和你的回忆有交集的脸孔。。。。。

原来

2010-04-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

原来。。。也会有不想写的时候，
原来。。。也有翻遍了也找不到的图片（因为只是在翻）
原来。。。想买的东西，却不想在那情况之下买（心情不对吗？）
原来。。。不想的做的事，做了，想做的，却做不下去了。
原来。。。很想的东西，好像也不是我能想象的。
原来。。。发现很多必须要买，要用的，却一样也列不出来。
原来。。。迷失的自己，是指南针也带不回去的。
原来。。。很好看的书，也会呆在一个角落，好像永远都看不完。
原来。。。每天要开口吃的，也需要想了三秒，试了三口，吃完还想吐的时候。
原来。。。你对着别人笑的时候，他可能一点都不想笑。
原来。。。人家对着我笑的时候，连我自己也不确定，我也有在笑。
原来。。。讲得一套，写的也是一套，做得也是另一套。
原来。。。听进去的话，做出来的事，虽然是同一套，但却不是心想的。
原来。。。不知道的事实，还远比知道真相的好。（因为那真相可能已经是谎言演变的）
原来。。。说谎的不是最坏的，因为会告诉你残酷真相的才是最坏的。
原来。。。所谓的笨蛋，也不是蠢事做多了。（是人们都不懂他的善良）
原来。。。善良的人，最终也会被称之笨蛋。
原来。。。不管什么时候，意见就会有不同的一天。
原来。。。好事做尽的人，也会有想坏的一刻。
原来。。。坏事做尽的人，也会有感人的一面。
原来。。。现实和酒都会令人倒地。
原来。。。倒得最舒服的时候，就是睡熟的时候。
原来。。。睡醒了和酒醒了而不知道发生了什么事的是很恐怖的。
原来。。。说不想写的时候，还是会一直不停的写。
原来。。。字是要写了出来才知道，脑子里还有没有东西。
原来。。。人们不想看的东西，还是会看了一半才说。。。无聊的。
原来。。。无聊的人才会把东西都看完。
原来。。。在什么都还没开始做的时候，时间早就开跑了。
因为。。。时间要是真的停了。。。可能。。。我。。。们。。。什么也做不来了。

是非题

2010-04-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

原来小学时的是非题和选择题都很重要。但是老师都没有说："长大后，你们的人生是非，选择题都没有了参考和答案。不再有四选一，也不一定全都是对与错。但是你可以选择不答，而远离是非，可是一定要学会明辨是非。” 近朱不一定可赤，但是近墨就一定会黑。原来从一开始就选错了，黑的那一天。。。总究还是会来的。

在找图片的时候，发现范范也有首歌，也叫是非题。。。

是非题歌词

每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱越单纯越着迷
你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己
我们从不开口那个言语
那一句我爱你
永远像少了勇气
别人都说
我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心
我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋
我会期待
爱情盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情

April..... fool.... is me.....

2010-04-04T06:16:00.001-07:00

i got no one fooling me around on that day...... either my friends are too good.... or no one care to fool me.

3rd day of the month, early morning...... bring them out and do some cleaning..... put them on the car and starts the journey..... they shouldn't been here at the first place and i shouldn't let them go away when they have settle down... after so many years..... well, at the end, have to send them back to where they are belong.... bye.... nature forest will be the best place.....

next stop.... cleaning...... for my father's grave yard.... it was only 6 months ago... and cut my toe there..... when trying to sweep some dust, sand out of his area.... hmmmm..... the next day was his birthday though. ( i just wonder he is trying to scold me.... doing something wrong?)

4th day..... dinner time..... but i wasn't that into it..... even bread fooling me around.... expiry date says 5th April.... almost had the first bite.... then only i noticed.... fungus growing.... on the other side..... the reason of not very into it..... found something that refrain me for continuing to tidy up other things, as well dinner....

it was some chinese calendar sheets..... starting 1st of March 1984 until 9th....... there are some hand written on it.... "father was sent to hospital", 2nd day..... passed away..... he is not around to see the last moment..... granpa's name and 90 years old.......... 3rd day... back home...... 9th day.... back KK.

i got kept the calendar as well for last year.... but i just don't know what to write on it.... today, my father's birthday.... he shows me what he did for his father..... my granpa.......

i knew very few about my grandpa and grandma..... can you show me more about that......??? what? how was it after................ as no matter how good i can imagine.... depends on the limited resources and which i never been into....... i got no story line nor anything.... ok, i can sleep early if you all really like to tell me some stories.......

a love.......... from you all............... I LOVE YOU! ( but i can't remember when was the last time i say this to you.... T.T or did i ?? )

the fool is me......

sleep...... roll...... think..... awake.......

2010-04-03T01:23:00.000-07:00

it has been almost a week, sleep early.... cannot... sleep late also cannot.... of course cannot not to sleep at all..... the only time for a better sleep is around afternoon.... the 2 hours max.... or during the time you have to wait for the dog food to cool down.....

not everytime you close your eyes and it will fall asleep... (weird for me, i can start sleep after counting 10.... ok, honest... highest record is 5....) it just like sitting on the bed, rolling left and right... the mind still thinking.... and eventually..... that's the sign of.... awake. it just rather you sit on the chair, this is lying on bed only.

people always said...... think too much, stop it and go to bed. yup, i am thinking too much, too much of imagination, too much of consideration, too much of evaluation.... why i start with the imagination? cause i have no answer from it..... everything is from me only......

i just curious why i didn't type when i was awake, simply they are so many to tell, but at that point of time.... it was really late, and even i am sitting on the bed.... i just hope i can fall asleep very soon.... guess what...... even i can fall asleep earlier than before, even the surrounding don't have dog barks.... but i will automatically wake up at the wrong time.... T.T (why i need the alarm then ?)

but sure is someone has changed my alarm inside....... and i am keep telling myself..... do something.... changing is needed..... but many times.... unless i want to do it..... else others hardly can challenge me.... and always value the good and bad of it first.... sound very dry and bored person..... value it before it happens..... as well no surprise.... haiz...... that's why.... too much of consideration.... something has to done before you can know the result.....

but then.... really past up the time for "JUST DO IT"..... so.... many things just turn out to be.... "think think only"...................

got dream, then better to chase it...... but i can't even fall asleep... how to dreammmm? can i?

real fake!!!

2010-03-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

some people are just too free and cannot create a product but problem.....
shame on you, wasting time doing all this.

u can see real website address was www.facebook.com
then other fake is www.facebook.com/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
better change password now.. if let they change yr password first
then yr account was byebye...!!

hakka saying, eat full nothing to do............

9 years ago

2010-03-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

it was a shock as a friend that is not your classmate, not your colleague, you only met once.... (talk a lot), they know who you are, what's your name, your nick.... and i have no idea who is it even looking at the photo....... some more after tell names....

i have been called uncle today and i can't remember faces and names...... face changes over the 9 years (some primary school classmate say... oh, you didn't change a bit, still can recognise you..... ) that is because i was an uncle since then....

i did something wrong or bad that year.... somehow that i think it was the best way for it... and yet after 9 years..... i still have a chance to say a "Sorry"........ instead of saying i don't have a good memory, also i can say that they are so much better memory installed..... but at least i still remember what have i done, and why i doing it....
ya, they have better memory for even what have i said.....

9 years ago i did it, and 9 years later i have to take it, accept it, admit it....... appreciate it... after 9 years without contact, someone still remember me.... for sure is i hurt them so badly.... else they wouldn't remember it, almost every single details.....

i was like being hit by a stick at this point of time.... but all i can do is just to accept it... anymore clarify would just sophisticate things..... you can't change a thing when 2001 and you can't change it 2010... you have to live with it and for live.... unless you have an unrecoverable amnesia.....

人真的不要做错事。。。

我們就到這

2010-02-23T19:51:00.000-08:00

long time didn't post lyrics... but when i search picture... found this...

我們就到這

填詞：方文山作曲：JS陳忠義

玻璃中反射咖啡還溫熱
我用霧氣在鏡面手寫著愛你呢
床上音樂盒依舊旋轉著
但你卻不再為我唱歌說我是你的

對的錯的做了選擇故事說到這
只是過去的甜蜜太過深刻
要多久才能夠褪色
好的壞的做了選擇我們就到這
縱然會難以割捨又能如何
說好了這個時刻不互相指責

初戀的顏色我們都記得
像家鄉那條小河透明得很清澈
你曾為我折一千個紙鶴
如今卻連一個擁抱你我都尷尬著

對的錯的做了選擇故事說到這
只是過去的甜蜜太過深刻
要多久才能夠褪色
好的壞的做了選擇我們就到這
縱然會難以割舍又能如何
說好了這個時刻不互相指責

永遠的承諾是你賜給的
只是當初任誰也不曉得
愛情的轉折比想象中的坎坷
感情的怨懟拉扯牢牢捆綁著
有些裂痕你無法去卻只能捨得

對的錯的做了選擇故事說到這
只是過去的甜蜜太過深刻
要多久才能夠褪色
愛的恨的做了選擇我們就到這
就讓我曾愛過的記憶深刻
其他的（才能夠褪色）
就此放手微笑得帶過
就此放手微笑得帶過

ang pao

2010-02-21T21:09:00.001-08:00

is kind of weird that for the first time i receive an ang pao from myself.....

is a start work ang pao.... i find 1, put in the money and put it on the desk.... then i pick it up from the desk and said something nice.... to myself.... LOL.

it just i didn't buy roses to myself on the V-day last week... but i did know someone would do that.... not for a laugh or laugh on it... it just a compliment or encouragement for self...

some will go for luxury dinner once a month, buy a hand bag, gadget...

breakfast....

2010-02-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

the breakfast time is where the all night long gamble finished.... it keeps us that long with some determination.... some is going back to KL, and 1 will go to open shop at 7am.... hahaha, didn't even go back home after work last night, and the same shirt as yesterday and continue work... should i salute him? LOL

i already shower for the morning and ready to go breakfast right after they finished the game..(gamble)... hohoho.... but just the 10 minutes i lie on the sofa... head cracking pain came in.... so, might as well breakfast with my grand grand grand father (周公)....

it was great still having these friends after leaving school.... it has been 1x years, and everyone still remember the past time.... it was just like yesterday.......

3am in the morning....

2010-02-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

3am morning during CNY.... this is the scenery that happens in most home.....

just hope the neighbour not complaining.... well, is only once in a year that there are so noisy at this time.... 3am in the morning.

shouting for the picture and aces.... YAN! YAN! YAN!.... well... the worst thing is that these aces goes to the banker..... and the shouting will come from all the players.....

i was surrounded by these sound.... i just watching.... it was glad that i can stay away from that.... not to win from friends and not to lose to them.... but i will only do it at casino... it was the place that everything is approve.... is like doing thing at the right place...... sounds like to legal to play it there and illegal to play it at home....

is it the gamble is legal or illegal.... is that only differentiate by the location? well... everyone knows it, and they just ignore that.... ehm.... human.... when they want to do that thing, there are so many reason to go for it.... and when they don't want it, yet they will have many reason for not doing it as well..... ehm.....

go gai... 误会。。。

2010-02-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

things should be moved in today.... and after waited for a long hour... finally the transport came.... without workers.... suddenly they headed to work at another place....

fine, since there were not safe.... might as well strengthen the security over there then only move in.... (but next time i will not ask this transport anymore... friend of my brother, should have told me earlier if don't have workers, came late and nothing can do)

well... the EQ was starting to drop... but still i am going over the new office to double check (i am kind of person... seeing to believe... or stubborn) when first reach there, 1st thing i noticed.... seems all the meter fuse were there....? could it be fixed? so climb up 3rd floor and check.... well, open up the main switch, and the fan and lights still cannot on.....

walking around there for about 3 minutes.... thinking of to switch off the main switch and leaving..... noticed the 2nd thing.... one of the sub switch were at the off position... meaning to say, even you on the main switch, you still have no electricity.... yeah... so happy to on it back and test.... the first one i on is the fan (don't know why... the hand reach that button first).... oops.... why the fan not moving also ah?? really the fuse at ground floor not in place??? lucky i try others... lights at the back, inside kitchen can on!!!????

why last few day when i was there, none of it were working? i did tried all switches, i didn't just on the fan.... (the ceiling fan might only malfunction today)..... so, this come to my mind..... is it when that day i came in... it just blackout only.... since it was morning and all shops at ground floor is closed for CNY..... you can't tell it was blackout or the electrical supplies having problem.....

so.... everything planned were hold back by this.... i walk in at the blackout day, my brother being told the fuse was stolen.... i was then being informed that fuse being stolen.... and i have been thinking too much.... ??!! really feel miserable since morning until now....

well... so many times i have console myself.... relax... this is a sign for me.... just to let you know.... things are not ready yet for you to come in.... get things ready by your own.... do not just listen and delegate the work.... really need to follow up and see with your own eyes..... (sound like training myself not to believe anyone... haiz)

city x security.....

2010-02-17T06:42:00.001-08:00

pack things and ready for tomorrow... unfortunately... things have to be delay a bit.... a SXXKER stole the fuse of the meter and my unit were no electricity... so, only can move in those furniture, like, tables, chairs, cabinet..... all the computers, TV, washing machine have to fall back.....

really hate this... the most dangerous place is where there are many peoples.... the safest place is where there are less popularity... (pessimistic??) should i admit or defend and say... it was fact!!!

have to wait until next month then only can start re-apply for the meter.... after the so called investigation.... %$#@!%@$#

plan doesn't always working your way and the EQ is start dropping.... even when it explode.... the wall is the one receive it... it will never be the "one" who stole the thing........ meaning to say, the thief always getting away from it and they just have too much of the confidence to repeat it... again and again....

so many thief outside and so many meter.... ok... am i the chosen one? (start blaming)...... ok... the really best way i can console myself is.... well, it was an alarm for me to start to plan for a better security options...... :(

乖乖虎。。。

2010-02-15T03:20:00.000-08:00

今天去拜访一位师姐的家。。。她们请来的woohoo吃完生菜后乱丢。。。有一棵梗丢中我。。。ouch!

打鼓的，打锵的，舞狮头和尾的。。。。。。。全都是土族。。。。。
只有带队的一个华人。。。。。。华人是要在他们新年的时候打gombang吗？（种族歧视？）

哈哈，以前就开始华土舞狮，现在是全土狮团。。。。。

头香

2010-02-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

每年都说要去上头香，但是今年是第一次。。。临去佛堂之前，朋友都问。。。你抢得到吗？

我们都不用抢的，是排队的。。。他们又问：“那就不是头支香咯”。。。。哈哈。。过后我才发现。。。那可是我今年自己的第一支香，虽然我不是排在第一，我也没去数我是第几。。。但是如果昨天没有去，我自己的头一支香可能是在中午。。。 ZZzzzz

如果还真要算，昨天因为工作人员不够，我也帮忙分派香支。。。可能头香就在我那边经手派出去的。。。。（计较）哈哈哈。。。

所以不管是不是头香，在这还是要恭贺各位。。。新年快乐，诸事圆满，共生吉祥，威德福海。

City life.....

2010-02-10T06:43:00.001-08:00

1 week before, discovered a notice inside a bank...

seems it has nothing good to be alerted...

somebody is really after meal and has nothing to do....

do the world really has to be going this way?

does the money have ruin the world?

1 week later, a dog was kidnap (popular dog that always show up in gaya street with nice outfit, sunglasses, dress up...)

well... at least some nice view of the city has been captu red to balance up a bit....

tiger didn't always captures...

tigger brings laughter....

tigres in kung fu panda playing a hero role...

the stronger power given, and we have to learn to control it... Human is the top above it... so pity that some of them have to steal for a better living... you got hands and legs...

you can speak and you got brain.... i think if the tiger can talk, they can actually walk in and order from the restaurant....

a little shiny.....

2010-02-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

in the middle of the night, there are no sign of moon, none of the cloud blocking... all you need to do is just lift up the head and look.... there are plenty of the stars hanging around.

something is always there and we just not paying attention on them..... we will look at the moon where it is big and round... it's attracted us..... when the sun makes the weather so hot.... we complaint.... its attracted us..... but the stars only attract us when these 2 are gone.... and everyone asleep....

some lucky fella will saw them visiting each other home, flying here and there with light tails.....

is not every night you can see them, there are too tiny... but when the 2 big light off.... they rules the sky.....

(suddenly think of this phrase "if you are too tiny to shine, i would like to be the black sky, a little light of the star, it makes a big different to the dark"..... )

Splash continue....

2010-02-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

the splash even wider area and yesterday was in petrol station and today is tele-communication centre.....

the splash started when i received a form after fuel up... it has these 2 question.... our petrol is bringing more power to your engine... true or false... (i want to laugh of loud).... but i bring the form to another corner and start reply... (i never did a test and compare with other brand, i do not have a statistic)

2nd Q... is it true that our petrol bring you more kilometer, true or false..... (as long my car can run)...... but eventually both i tick "true" also.... who know kena picked as it was part of lucky draw mah......

today in the tele centre... i reach there 4pm something... maybe it was Friday, and there were not much customer inside.... 1 hand is enough to count it.... i stand there and wait for the number, this counter guy ignored me for... 30 seconds.... (i didn't count lah)

it was very fast and it was my turn... since i want to move the current phone number to another location... i was asking whether i can still remain the same number or not... she reply "we only can know it after you fill up the form.... and not sure can get back the number or not..."

well, it took us 5 minutes sitting there and find the new address... i really don't know what lorong is that, and the document i am holding is from lawyer firm, and it only have the lot number and block, and area name..... and i saw this auntie at the next counter rubs her hand... and her daughter saying... cold....

yes, indeed i felt that and all the staff did as well.... but they all wearing a thick coat... very PRO!! even the security with GUN is wearing a thick jacket.... hahahaha

when i was finish with my phone line... i go look for the feedback form....

"suggest to set to warmer *temp* after 4pm, you do not have many customer to serve and all of your staff with thick coat, is FREEZING COLD" , "eco-friendly", then i fill in my personal details....

(funny part... i check back, they might not know "temp" so i try to fill up the "temp".... at the end it become "tempeture"...... after i walk to my car.... i keep on thinking on that word...... hahhaa, it should be.... temperature!!)

cold water splasher.....

2010-02-03T04:48:00.001-08:00

i am a cold water... and i splash everywhere.... i am starting to notice that... instead i thought i am offering different point of view to others... i might be just pouring water over their head..... >.<"

when someone is very excited and want to show or tell you... and because you just think that.... there are something behind it, or there are another way round.... but it seems this extra point of view will kill his/her idea or excitement.....

gosh.... i have been typing and delete it all without pressing the comment button for the whole night.... it was like someone telling me.... don't comment lah... don't spoilt others mood lah.... keep it for yourself lah... words going out is like water pouring out... no way to collect it back... but... when we are not meant to say it, but the listener has a different mind....

if we have to think twice or more for whatever we are going to say...... wow.... i rather type.... at least i still have the delete key, or i still can say, it was typing mistake.... hahaha... sometime it is hard... say it round a bit, they might not understand... or thinks you fake, harsh words no one does like.... funny way, they think you are not taking it seriously..... where's the point to balance it?

to be cont.......

rubik's cube... a formula or a inspire....

2010-02-02T04:23:00.000-08:00

found 1 of this when trying to sort things out... i still got a small one with key chain and another 5x5 inside a box.... (dunno how to solve it...)

when back to my time... we used to play this under the table or inside the drawer of the table during class.... ( ok, we do listen to what teacher said as we solve this cute fast as well can... )

but now i am having trouble with the top layer... but when i saw the fish sign... things should be near end... but somehow... i am stuck.... forgot the formula......

well, there are six side or six colour in total... you need to think if you are doing the first colour, and after that... more on the formula... and you can just close your eye and let the hand do the work....

i was wondering... this cube designed for those formula memoriser or the logic thinker... or some like to play games with cheat code...

however... i just finished the six colors and it was a bit different way someone taught me... it was a formula of old time.... so i guess i am too stubborn to accept new ways and i am still sticking to my old style... it takes a bit longer time, and yet is not very accurate all the times... but i am happy that i might think and observe... my formula is working, and it just have something to improve the accuracy...

think of it as a game, having fun even you have to retry to solve it.... think of it is a decision... when you still have a second chance to overwrite it (if possible).... just don't think this is your life.... there are no routine... no formula... and no resolution... spin the wrong side and everything messed up.... that will refrain you to step forward....

if really this is a life... all you need to do is turn to the right..... no matter what you did... the right thing is it.... you might not able to have six colour completed... but you have done all the right thing in life.... (so hard... the cube got instruction of how to solve the puzzle....) life don't have... the only thing you need to do is.... follow the right path and doing the right thing....

found out something funny...
no wonder the logo is like that...
if you look at the cube with 1 eye....
max color you can see is only 3.....
(don't tell me yours got garfield, hello kitty
and pokemon... many colors @.@"")

woohoo.... wou... wou...

2010-01-30T05:22:00.001-08:00

woo... hooo.... but she is a puppy... not tiger... hehehe..... is she cute? everyone looks so cute when still little.... so naughty when grown up... 叛逆期.....

well... at the different stage, we experience it, and learn from it... to develop....

she is the brightest among her sister and brothers.... the big size one.... and the first one being adopt....

her mother makes me sleepless at that night... making some crying noise during night time....

well... she will have to start her own journey.... she cannot stay here all the while... even her mother will soon leave me and stay at a different place.... feel so bad that have to send them away... T_T

it was almost new year.... some of you might be able to join the family, or some have to go back home.... please give them a hug..... asian people seldom do that.... even if i go hug my mum... she will shock.... so, just do something that is caring.....

for those are not able to join.... ehmmmm..... well... a phone call to connect.... a voice to listen... sometimes is more than many thing.....

feeling or habits

2010-01-29T07:35:00.000-08:00

just got back my pc after loaning out.... it feels like more familiar and suddenly it was like a inspiration or encouragement to write... and move this pc in my room where i used to write a lot....

ok, the gaming took out some of the time and articles... well... it was not everyday gaming nor writing... else it would be a problem

well, when you get used to either an environment or a person... things goes smoother..... it was like a comfort zone.... it less a lots of worries when you are into it....

BUT... the comfort zone can as well kill some of your talent to stay strong and independent... there are no way you can learn this unless you working on it.... action is much more required...

whenever a person dip into the comfort zone, i just don't know it was habits and practise that make out the environment or it just the feeling that let them think that they are inside a self comfort zone....

rarely people can come into ones comfort zone as the feeling is different? and sure the habits as well..... no one is equally same... different wavelength.... the tolerance plays a major factor to seize things off.....

Dreaming cont....

2010-01-25T03:42:00.000-08:00

today i just realise... is it that the dream is saying that my father will reborn in Japan as the little girl? cause he only left us last sept... the little girl is jumping and singing.... not 3 years old little kid liao.... maybe i think too much...

last week it was busy and many things happened and yet to blog it.... mostly already forgot... haiz... more busy weeks ahead as the new office renovation almost done... have to packing and throwing... there can't afford to fit in everything i got now...

the smaller space will create less garbage for those lazy people like me.... (else everything also want to keep... at last didn't use also) or i just can handle small cases... the ability was not there to handle sooo big spaces.....

ok, have to work now.... clear off as many as i can, so that don't need to bring over there... jia you everyone!!

唱一首歌

2010-01-23T14:36:00.000-08:00

早上六点半就醒了，刚刚发了个梦, 前半段是去KL遇见了朋友..... 奇怪的是醒来之前的一首歌.... 不知为什么突然间去到了日本, 一个人走着.... 前面有个太太带着个小女孩.... 女孩唱着歌..... hanashi deki nai de, subete wo tottemo shizuka ni...... 大概记得是这样 : "我不能说话, 全部都变得很安静, 当我遇见佛陀, 我低头合掌"。。。。然后有些不记得，只记得这一句。。。。 "我也想唱一首歌，送给我在天国的爸爸"。。。在梦里，我听见这句，我哭了。。。但我还是跟着她们走，到有个地方要爬上去的时候，那太太还伸出手给我，拉我上来。。。拉了就醒来了。。。。。。

why i got this feeling that i can use this later when i need to host the group meeting....??!!

kids that cannot speech but still they've got something to say, to the dearest one.... ?! they still can act, just can't say it.... but sure their mind are thinking..... if let them write... maybe many things will come out....

table dance...

2010-01-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

yeah, again i was put on the table... last minute inform and i have to host a group meeting...

given nothing beside a name list of the member, mostly i even don't know who is it.... well, do we need to shock the lazy mind everytime like this? last minute and something we don't know??

give me a lot more of time that i can prepare and doing a better job... or maybe i just hit the wall once and will not given other test like this... heheh....

asked do something complaint a lot.... sure like this loh... even i complain but still i will do it de...

i already cracked the head for the ideas already... tomorrow is it... but now.... i will not think of that anymore.... just let myself rest, wake up early morning and helping on the recycle things.... the meeting was in the afternoon.... if anything come across my mind... then got loh... nothing, then is nothing....

no responsibility?? well, we do need to adjust between this responsibility and ability... ya... sometimes you need to force it then only the ability will come out.... but... sometimes, the brain will empty one...

home, office, customer, client, dealer, supplier..... so many parties i have to give the responsibility... i already put many of it aside.......... so.... conclude... you only show your ability and responsibility when you have the ability to move the responsibility onto the table... anything you done under the table.... worthless....

where's the point?

2010-01-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

Finally, 2010 first movie in cinema.... is WOOHOOooooo!!!! the tiger is cute, and the movie is funny, and certain part of the story is touching.... and some part of the movie.... T.T..... ok... it was easy for me to T.T during a movie....

the point is different in different people.... i can laugh out loud when it was funny and T.T at the other part... some people think it was nothing and will not T.T..... and some part that i think it was nothing... then maybe they will T.T.......

it doesn't matter which part that makes you T.T....... it was great to watched this..... please do not compare this with those other highly, heavily, expensive invested making.... it might be just ordinary script or story that everyone knows.... this is life.... look around and everyone has a story to tell....

惨了！！！

2010-01-14T00:29:00.000-08:00

师父今天才回复我。。。

她讲：

阿满
我已轉傳予報社
謝謝祝吉祥
覺度合十

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！

我立刻打电话问。。。她说改了少少。。。她讲看报纸就知道。

我还希望她改很多叻。。。符号也乱乱点。。。哪里有看过报纸有“。。。” 的。

没信心。。。 :{

写的时候有信心。。。要上报。。。怕怕。。。

算了吧，事已至此，报馆看到不刚。。。可能也会改吧。。。